Writing can be intensely personal
I was doing a little digging around to find out more about Amy Zhang, whose recently released debut novel, Falling into Place, is creating a bit of buzz, partly because it was written and published all by the time she was just 18 years old. Everything about this girl is knocking stereotypes right out of the park: She’s young; she’s female; she’s of Asian ancestry, and yet she’s already chasing and achieving her dreams. I can’t speak for the quality of the book, having not read it yet myself, but can say that regardless; Amy Zhang is pretty darn impressive.
More to the point, I was reading an interview with the author when I stumbled upon this quote:
“I try very, very hard to keep my writing life and […] the rest of my life separate. I can honestly count the number of people who know me personally and are also aware that I write on my fingers. Writing is something I love so much that I’m honestly terrified to talk about it with people I know.”
This hit me like a ton of bricks because I relate to it so much. Obviously by this point, having released two books of my own, people who know me generally know that I write, but I can honestly say that – like Amy – I can count the number of serious, in-depth conversations I’ve had about my work with loved ones on just one hand. Sure, they get excited for me when I release something. I post about it on my Facebook to let everyone know at once; some of them like the post; some of them share it; heck, a few of them even buy and read it, but very few of them truly understand the extent of what I do.
This is, ironically, largely down to my own doing. Whenever a friend or family member has attempted to show an interest in my writing, be it asking of the ins and outs of publishing or the details of my current projects, I clam up and mumble a half-hearted, awkward response that tells them next to nothing of any significance. This isn’t because I don’t care. On the contrary, it’s because I care so much that I find it difficult to let them into that part of my life. I can’t explain it; it just feels wrong somehow to talk about my imaginary worlds, fictional characters and royalty payments with the people I’ve known since our schooldays… They know what I love to do and are happy to let me get on with it.
That’s why I love this platform so much, as – whether it’s odd or not – I can happily chat away endlessly about all things literature with fellow readers and writers around the world, many of whom I consider dear friends but who are, I suppose, technically strangers.
I like to hope this is something that is universal. ‘Real life’ friends are, for many of us, all about escaping the stresses of our day to day routines. They’re the people we go to at the end of a long week to unwind, take our mind off things and recharge, so we can start all over again. The last thing most people want to do after work is talk about their day at the office; maybe this is just my equivalent of that same feeling.
I’d love to know if this is something you also experience or if it is yet another quirk to add to my list?
I love to share my writing with anyone who is genuinely interested, as well as my nutrition practice and Reiki. Perhaps I’m the quirky one!
Thats great! I love to share the end results of my writing with people (my books, poetry, articles, etc.)
It’s the process leading to that point I have issues opening up about. It feels so iternal and personal that I just end up mumbling something awkward!
I do understand. :D. The depth of. The process can be difficult to explain, especially to a noncreative listener.
I’m glad you can relate 🙂
But of course.
I’m totally with you on this, Callum. Except for talking briefly about what I’m working on with my family and close friends, I keep my work to myself. A big part of it, for me, is linked to understanding and whenever I’ve tried to explain my work I feel like I’m justifying it somehow. It doesn’t feel natural. We all have people we lean on for different things in life, and I’m just happy I have friends to lean on in my writing life. They are as precious as my writing 🙂
I’m so glad you get it. I think we all have an introverted side and an extroverted side. The extrovert in me is happy to laugh and have fun with my friends but writing is how I nourish the introvert in me. It feels almost like a betrayal to dissect the ins and outs of the process with the people closest to me.
My sentiments exactly – I couldn’t have put it better 🙂
I suppose it’s all about finding the right balance. Thanks for your thoughts 🙂
You’re welcome, thanks for the post – especially the reinforcement that we’re not alone in this and we do have people who understand this creative side of us! Life is all about balance and, just recently, I seem to be getting that balance right 🙂
That’s wonderful. I’m glad to hear it! 🙂
I see myself in your rational, Callum. 100% me. To my detriment, I’m afraid. However, it’s nice to sit near someone else who feels the same way.
I’ve always taken comfort in knowing others share in the often more difficult aspects of writing, so I’m glad if me sharing my experiences can help someone else in the same way.
I wrote of this feeling during the early stages of my blog. I also found many writers who felt the same way. Enjoy your evening.
*hand darts into the air* That is me all the way. I was actually gonna do a post similar to this based on a thought I had this morning about how I react to people asking me about my book, writing, etc. I clam up so bad, I’ve crafted the one response I know will shove people’s interest away almost immediately.
When I first released The Soul, it took me a few hours of panic and anxiety to share it on my personal Facebook. The reactions I got for weeks – months – afterward was huge. People I’ve known years coming up to me or commenting, “Hey! Had no idea you were a writer! Where can I get a copy of your book?!”
I’m (slightly) better about it now, but man… for years, I wanted to keep those two parts of myself separate… It sucked.
I like them better coalesced into one. :]
I’d love to read it if you still go ahead with that post!
It’s an odd situation. I think everyone has their passion and hates feeling like they need to explain or justify it to someone who just doesn’t get it.
I’m slowly learning to find a balance between the two parts of my life. Maybe I’ll get there one day 😉
I’m the same way. I usually keep my writing to myself unless the person is really close to me. I’m not a big sharer when it comes to my personal life or my writing. It makes me nervous to share what I’m writing with someone else because I don’t want them to judge it before it’s finished. I have told a few people I want to be a writer, and they end up telling me how to write something or which stories I should write. I mean I don’t mind, but I want to come up with my own ideas because I have plenty swimming around in my head.
This is one reason I joined the book blogging community. Not many people in my real life read anything similar to me, so it’s nice to have people to talk with about my interests without being judged for enjoying reading.
Exactly, often the people in our lives – in spite of how much we love them – are completely different to us. With blogging, we can seek out the ones who will understand our way of thinking. Thanks for commenting!
*sighs* Ah, Callum, yes. Exactly. I love you.
I’m blushing over here! 😉 I’ll take that as a resounding agreement. Thanks!
This is a great post, Callum. I thought it was just me! For the most part, people know I write, but also that I don’t talk about it. Early on, when I shared what I was doing, the glazed-over looks made me question what I was doing. And when I said I was “working on a project” or I couldn’t do something because I was WRITING, the “Oh gee, that’s too bad” comments taught me to keep it to myself. I like it this way though 🙂 I, too, love the blogging world, where everyone’s 2cents worth matters.
Thats good to hear! I think people who don’t have a big creative interest find it difficult to understand what we do and we, similarly, find it hard to explain. Thank goodness for fellow bloggers and writers! 🙂
I don’t talk about my writing much to people I know. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to see their glazed expressions like when I had spoken to friends about my jobs in finance. My writing is my own creation–it’s me. I don’t want to share it with people who won’t appreciate its importance to me.
Exactly. I think we all have our passions and we all simply need to allow others the opportunity to indulge those passions.
My family is incredibly supportive of my writing, but yeah, I don’t tend to talk with them in-depth about it 😀 Even my best friend knows little about what I actually do. But when I meet someone with the same passion and interest in books and writing, I can chat for hours!
I’m glad it’s not just me! 🙂 Thanks for commenting.
Interesting blog post. I think my circumstances are just a bit different as my writing is outside of my day job. I wish I could scream it to the sky’s some days and have it as my full time job, but right now it’s my full time passion. Those closest to me know and I’m trying to get more involved with those who write through various groups online or in person, I love the community. I just want to get to that space where I do have some published pieces to really shine about – hopefully soon.
That’s an interesting point to raise because I think many of us ironically don’t like talking about our passions to others in case they aren’t as enthusiastic as we are, and when you’re a full time writer, your job IS your passion, so it’s an odd feeling at times.
Well, I can certainly relate to this!
I have been writing since I was 14, but I think there were only two people who knew about it until I started to write on my blog in 2013!
In depth conversations about writing? Yea, maybe with 3 people max and of course a bunch of writers I know. Writing is so personal and very hard to understand for people who don’t write.
Of course people know that I am a writer now. It’s hard to hide that fact when you start publishing things lol 😉
But still, the drive, the passion, the why… It’s something just a few can understand.
Hugz & Love ❤
I completely agree! 🙂
I totally relate to this blog post. No one in my family knows that I have a blog.. let alone that I write poetry. Only 3 of my close friends know about it because I trust them 100 per cent and they know how much it means to me.
I’m glad it could resonate with you. It seems it’s something a lot of us can understand, which is great. I suppose writing is often so personal that it can be difficult to open up about it to other people.